Eze's Musing

 I used to have words, now I don't. My thoughts go flat, there is no bounce. I stare at my status, my handle, and my blog in vain; No words come to mind. How did we go flaccid with no text to show? Our once bubbly minds thud with silent groans The dearth of words like the death of man.

We had come for Sunday School Preparatory Class. With us were members of my childhood church, respected people, and my parents. It appeared we all arrived early so there was time for catching up before the start of the Prep. I, my pastor, and a few others talked about why I have not been coming for the prep, although I had a respectable and juicy position - Assistant Superintendent. I smiled and thought to myself that it didn't matter, the position wasn't anything to make me available for the preps. It was all small talks when there was a sudden flurry of activities: members began to run into the church hall - we were holding the prep outside. I thought it was a sudden rain, others thought so too, but some others saw the strange things. I didn't see what was happening. I wondered why they all were running off without carrying the wooden benches we were using. Ideally, when the rain comes while we were in class, members carried benches -  two Individuals to one bench, each i

We came late. People had waited long and were in a hurry to go. We got in for the negotiations. I am not used to any of such. So, I was really apprehensive. My parents were too, since they didn't know the traditions of our host. So, when the eldest man of the family began to pour out and count the pear seeds, our unease rose to a max. My mum's face went pale, my dad shrunk, and I could feel my hollow tummy. We waited as he counted.  It turned out that the pear seeds was a symbol of money. Each pear was a thousand Naira. And since we were not bargaining for a goat, but a woman, we can't haggle money directly. The culture said we had to go back and forth on it three times. So, we did. When it was done, the elder counted __ seeds and another__ seeds. The deal was done. The tradition says pay the first set now and the second set whenever.  Next, Victor Akpagu whisked me away to get photographed. The next twenty minutes was clinging and snapping with Somto and her girls.We we

In it all, there is this part of us that just wants to sit and observe it all: no speeches, no interests to protect, and no end to meet. Just a proper analysis of all things and wonder at the whys and the bases. That part of me makes a debut quite often. I find that I mostly want to observe, to experiment - to do things just to observe the outcomes. Go to places, hang out with people, try out an idea, do a project, and the list goes on and on. There is this urge to experience, reflect on the experience, and then recount them in speech and writing. And I wish that could be the default mode of life - no real consequences, just an unending sequence of trying, reflecting, and recounting. But life is not just a series of harmless events and choices. There are roads we take and never return; actions come with serious reactions. And even more saddening is societal cum moral expectations. We find that we can't just be passive and objective when some matters are discussed; certain social gr

I was born and raised in a lower-class family. Or if you will bother with more accuracy, top lower-class, for even among the low, some are lower. Dad did his best to give my siblings and me a fine education. So, since my school days, I have mingled with children from higher social standing. Today, I have become in the eyes of society a middle-income man due to where I work. I do not see myself as a middle-income man, because my network is still rooted in the lower rungs, and I am still within their everyday demands. How do I live a mid-income life amidst the poverty of my network? My inner life is a constant tussle between the realities of the lower class and the expectations of the middle class. So, spending is a headache - every dime spent has to be justified, and every need must be questioned for legitimacy. Every buy is considered in the light of how many families it could feed. It is a constant barrage of what the alternative uses are. Needs are real, expectations are real too, an

I am a Christian, I was born into Christianity. Over the years, I have walked my own spiritual journey in the overall framework of Christianity. So, some micro beliefs that once mattered no longer do. Some, practices are now clearly seen as simple traditions that have nothing to do with right standing with God.   Years of both religious, philosophical, and historical study also lend a particular color to my view of what matters most in the Christian religion. Since I have been an individual who is keen about my internal belief system matching my external actions, it has been a hard battle with living true to the  requirements of the established church - my mind keeps sorting which is essential and which is simply an addendum. Organized Christianity has a strong pull, you can't dissent easily. Plus the sentiments are deeply rooted such that they block off even obvious points from the Holy book. Dissent is negated no matter how Bible-based it is. The norm just have to be maintained,